since high school, i have personally wrestled with what’s best described as a “saviour complex,” whereby i’ve seen certain things in the world + various expressions of the “church” as problematic + thought i could/should be involved in personally effecting some kind of change/solution. not surprisingly, one’s influence is never as wide/deep as one might expect, because revolutions are not staged by one person…they are communal. what’s more, we often get it wrong + can make a proper mess of things when we assume that we’re personally responsible for securing major/measurable results.
constrastingly, it’s been sung by the band “frightened rabbit” in the song “head rolls off” that, “while i’m alive, i’ll make tiny changes to earth.” perhaps that’s enough. considering the clichéd expression “small world” (when we randomly happen to meet someone who knows someone we know), could it be that we’re not actually supposed to be the ones to solitarily enact widespread social transformation, but instead to simply do our very best to make a difference in the lives of relatively few people (who will hopefully “pay it forward” to others, thereby nebulously catalyzing something cumulative + truly significant)?
that sounds good to me. and maybe if there are enough people occupying different spheres of influence who deliberately make it their priority to do the little they can to embody the best aspects of the judeo-christian story, the world could become a better place to inhabit.
m. w. powell